My very first podcast!!

Honesty

One of the reasons I wanted to create this blog was to share my experiences with other parents and to be a help and source of support. I can't do that without being completely honest. Having a child with Asperger's is hard and exhausting and frustrating. It makes you want to cry and scream sometimes. But also parenting other children without Asperger's is equally as hard when you can hold them all to the same expectations. They also can get frustrated having to appease their sibling or handle the situations that occur because of the behavior of the sibling due to Asperger's. 

I say all this to say that there is an ebb and flow to frustrations of the parent and the other children. I have had years where I managed daily emails or phone calls from teachers to handle behavior issues only to come home and battle homework for 2 hours with many tears from both him and me. Thankfully neither of my girls had any issues in school at the time. But now my son is doing amazingly well and I hardly hear from school at all, maybe once every week or two from the teachers as a summary and rarely with issues but they have happened. A few things have come up with my girls which I luckily have the mental capacity to deal with since I don't deal with daily issues from my son as that would almost be too much. 

I feel like I'm rambling but those of you that have multiple children will understand this and I hope you feel better knowing you aren't alone and in the acknowledgment that it can be overwhelmingly hard at times. 

One other note is that siblings of children with Asperger's generally learn at an earlier age to be more compassionate, thoughtful and selfless. My oldest child stands up for many people in her class when they are picked on and is always willing to help others. She also works very well with my son to the point that if he is having a meltdown at school and the teachers cannot calm him they have an action plan to call her to help. 

"Always remember: you're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." -A.A. Milne

Resources & Tools

We all need additional resources and tools to combat the day to day battles to dress our children or get them to eat certain foods or handle changes. Over the last few years and even somewhat recently I have found some fantastic websites and tools that have been extremely beneficial to me. Just like when we finish school we aren't done learning, we are perpetually discovering and educating ourselves we should be doing the same thing regarding Asperger's.  
I read the book Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's by John Elder Robinson a few years ago and it was so enlightening and helped me understand more of the mental thought process of someone with Asperger's and ever since I have been able to better communicate with my son. 

http://www.amazon.com/Look-Me-Eye-Life-Aspergers/dp/0307396185/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1435329622&sr=8-1&keywords=don%27t+look+me+in+the+eye


A website I used often is the Parenting Aspergers Community, link below. There is just tons of information about EVERYTHING!!! They also have a blog and you can sign up to get the daily emails, which I recommend. This one site I go back to again and again.   

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/


My son has struggled to stay in his seat in school and to sit still. He has ADHD along with Asperger's. And he has had and Occupational Therapist as part of his school IEP since kindergarten and we have tried various "fidgets" but for the wedding I wanted something for him to hold instead of his ipad as he tends to turn up the volume without realizing it. I can't believe I never found this before because he LOVED it and wants them for school. 

http://www.amazon.com/Tangle-Creations-8800-Relax-Therapy/dp/B001EWC5M4/ref=pd_bxgy_364_img_y

I also found this desktop "fidgipod" that may work well for him to keep on his desk and the fidget in his pocket.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DTX9GE6/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=3DGHFWJ7MK8A&coliid=I3L159AEHGZKGK

I would love to hear some other tools and resources you use.

Success Story - Wedding Photo

Sometimes you can prepare and prepare and prepare your Aspergers child and it makes no difference but you still roll with the punches but sometimes things workout great and all the hard work pays off big time!!!

In the middle of May my niece got married and I knew we would be taking family photos. I have been prepping my son for several months about these photos from discussing the clothes and shoes he would wear (for only 15 minutes max) and the expectations of what I needed him to do. He has tactile sensitivity so I explained he would not be sitting in the suit (stand up only pants) and he only had to wear the dress shoes for photos and then he could change back into his beloved Crocs. I also let him pick out his bow tie, which thanks to Dr. Who made that process a whole lot easier. All my preparation made a world of difference. He got up, smiled for the photo with no complaining or arguing or crying and it was over in 5 minutes!

I added a photo from the photographers website and while he isn't smiling in this one, he is looking at the camera and isn't slouching which were other photo issues we have had in the past.

I told him how proud I was of him and he was rewarded with a nerf gun, which he LOVES!!!

Welcome!

Hi and welcome to the Asperger’s and Fries podcast. I’m Rachel and just like all of you I am the parent of a child with Asperger’s. Regardless of age or whether it’s a boy or girl we all need support, we all need help and we all need inspiration to get through the day.

Not all children with Asperger’s are the same but one thing remains true for all parents, whether the child has autism or not “We are the silent army for our children. We are the unsung heroes who may never get public recognition but continue to fight the good fight for our kids” (The Jenny Evolution).  While we are the army for our kids, we often feel like we fight that battle alone or with our spouses but know you are not alone in the struggle.

I know when my son was first diagnosed I looked for a local support group so that I could maybe find other parents to help me understand more and deal with the emotional side of it but there was nothing within 30+ miles of me. I did find support in teachers, family and in online resources but sometimes you want someone to hold your hand and to hear a voice tell you “I know it’s hard but you can do this” and this leads me to another quote I love which is “Sometimes those who challenge you most teach you best” (Anonymous). I hope with this blog I can help you through the challenges.

If you aren’t already following the blog please do so, also follow me on Facebook or email me directly.

A.A. Milne said “Always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

http://www.thejennyevolution.com/something-wrong-with-my-child/